Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 6)

Play us a medley of your hit.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio; if all the stations are rock ‘n’ roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.

(1940 – ) American radio disc jockey

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks; there you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Harpist: A plucky musician.

It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.

(1957 – ) English novelist, essayist & screenwriter

I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.

American basketball player & coach

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

I hate music, especially when it's played.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do; and for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.’

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

I like Wagner's music better than any other music; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music… now it's your turn.

(1944 – ) English actor, musician & comic writer

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.