Subject: Entertainment (Page 21)

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.


Sex Television

The Mushroom in Christian Art

Art Book Titles

This might have been good for a picture… except it has too many characters in it.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Entertainment Film

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Entertainment Food/Drink Music

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Entertainment Television

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

He was a man who never let his left hip know what his right hip was doing.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Dance Entertainment

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Emotions Entertainment Film

A great actress, from the waist down.

(1848 – 1935) English actress
Acting Insults

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

(1901 – 1963) American comic actor, writer & director
Entertainment Music

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Entertainment Music Success

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Entertainment Intelligence Music Wisdom

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

The number of people who will not go to a show they do not want to see is unlimited.

(1895 – 1960) American lyricist
Entertainment

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

English painter & sculptor Frederic Leighton to James McNeill Whistler: My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why don't you ever finish them?

Whistler’s reply: My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Entertainment Insults

Milton's act was every bit as good as Jessel's or Cantor's; in fact, it wasn't only just as good, it was the same.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

He has the best possible actors; if you have a disagreement with them, you can always use them to wash your car.

(1915 – 1977) American actor of stage and screen
Entertainment

Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting Characteristics Entertainment Honesty