Subject: Government (Page 20)

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Taxes

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every ten minutes.

(1905 – 1995) U.S. senator (Arkansas)
Government People Self

The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it.

Military

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Remember the politician who wouldn't release his tax returns and it turned out he had nothing to hide? … Me neither.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government Politicians Taxes

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs Government Politics

The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.

(1961 – ) 44th U.S. president
Government Health Misspokements

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Government Politicians

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

Military

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government People