Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 11)
Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.
Robert Staughton Lynd
(1892 – 1970) American writer
Intelligence
Genius
His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.
Benjamin de Casseres
(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol
Insults
Intelligence
Brains
On George Bernard Shaw
Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.
Edgar Watson Howe
(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Intelligence
Common sense
The only place a men want depth in a woman is in her [cleavage].
Zsa Zsa Gabor
(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Intelligence
Men
People
Women
Other things being equal, it is better to be smart than to be stupid.
Carl Sagan
(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Intelligence
Stupidity
Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
People
Self
Egotist
I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Intelligence
President
At a dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners
Thomas Jefferson
Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
Edgard Varese
(1883 – 1965) French-born composer
Intelligence
People
Birth
Genius
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication
Insults
Intelligence
Sex
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults
Intelligence
Intellect
Overstatement
Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own.
Greg Hahn
(1984 – ) American stand-up comedian
Books
Communication
Ideas
Intelligence
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness
Intelligence
Money
Poverty
Wealth
Convictions
Foolish
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics
Honesty
Intelligence
Truth
Head
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate
(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Fools
New Year's Resolution
Tolerance
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Boehm's 2nd Law of Assistance
Memory
Murphy’s Laws
People
Problems
Situations
Trouble
Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.
Sarah Palin
(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs
God
Government
Misspokements
Stupidity
As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
God
Intelligence
Wisdom
Luck
A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.
Eugene Mirman
(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children
Education
Family
Intelligence
Speech
As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.
Jonathan Swift
(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics
Fools
Intelligence
Men
People
Women
Blushing
Virtue
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance
Entertainment
Intelligence
Music
Hearing
An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
Charles de Montesquieu
(1689 – 1755) French philosopher & political commentator
Books
Communication
Fools
Reading/Writing
Author
Boredom
Page 11 of 47
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