Subject: Marriage (Page 6)

It's like my ex-wife… 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.

American football coach
Football Marriage Sports Wives

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Divorce Marriage Sex Things

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Definitions Marriage

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Marriage People

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The first one’s the hardest, then you know the routine.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Divorce Marriage

Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

(1954 – ) Australian author
Marriage

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Marriage Work

Lay off Vanessa. She gives great headache. … I can’t believe it. Married five years. Seems like yesterday! [sighs] And you know what a lousy day yesterday was.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Marriage

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Divorce Marriage

My wife gets all the money I make… I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Marriage Wives

Marriage is like having cable with one channel.

(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian
Entertainment Marriage Television

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

(1788 – 1860) German philosopher
Marriage