Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 10)

I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleepin.

Miscellaneous

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don’t let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he’ll thank you.

Miscellaneous

They from off.

Miscellaneous

Give a man a fish and it will feed him for a day, give the man a fishing rod and he will sell it for more fish, or burn it for firewood.

(1968 – ) English impressionist & comedian
Miscellaneous Proverbs

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Miscellaneous

Sittin’ in the catbird seat

Miscellaneous

Unfortunately, all Coach Carter taught me was that I can actually scratch the first four verses of Revelations into the back of a theater chair with my fingernail in a little under two hours.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Miscellaneous Reviews/Criticism

I was born on a Friday, but not last Friday.

Miscellaneous

It don’t take long to examine a hot horseshoe.

Miscellaneous

There is one question that probably drives just about every vampire crazy: “Oh, do you know Dracula?”

Miscellaneous

I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me.

Miscellaneous

Acupuncture: Waiting for a cure on pins and needles.

Miscellaneous

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Miscellaneous

Like a two-forty trot

Miscellaneous

Leader Of The Laundromat

Miscellaneous

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.

Miscellaneous

Not being born to parents who were accountants was probably my biggest mistake.

British boxing champion
Boxing Miscellaneous Sports

Too bad Lassie didn’t know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said “Lassie, go skate for help,” she could do it.

Miscellaneous

That's so good it would make a puppy pull a freight train.

Miscellaneous

Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your space zoo if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me… and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

Miscellaneous

Let me hug your neck.

Miscellaneous