Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 10)
Busier than a one eyed cat watching three mice holes.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Busy
Other expressions
Makes no never mind.
Country definition
Miscellaneous
It doesn’t matter
Makes no difference to me
Other expressions
It's not easy to cut through a human head with a hacksaw.
Michael Crichton
(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
Miscellaneous
There’s no “I” in denial.
Peter Serafinowicz
(1972 – ) English actor, comedian, writer, voice artist & director
Miscellaneous
Not blessed with beauty…
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Looking worn out
Other expressions
Hotter than a two dollar pistol.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He wouldn’t know his name if it won’t written in his shorts.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
When I told my therapist I have an imaginary dog he said; ‘Well, at least you don’t have to pick up shit in the street' … so I’ve stopped doing that.
Kelly Kingham
comedian
Miscellaneous
My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!
Redd Foxx
(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Miscellaneous
As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”
You’re acting crazier than a sprayed roach!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Behavior
Crazy
Other expressions
Don’t care if I do.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
An acceptance
Other expressions
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Evan Esar
(1899 – 1995) humorist
Miscellaneous
Brother's keeper
I’m touching cotton.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I’ve got to use the bathroom badly
Other expressions
If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: first, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes; there, isn’t that better?
Miscellaneous
Church was a reminder there was something worse than school.
Gallagher
(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous
Church
Dumber than a barrel of hair
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Dumb
Other expressions
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon; but some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you’d look out your little window and think, ‘Boy, I’m glad I’m not out in THAT.’
Miscellaneous
I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away.
Miscellaneous
I could eat the horse and chase the jockey.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Being hungry
Other expressions
When I think of some of the things that have been done in the name of science, I have to cringe… no, wait, not science, vandalism; and not cringe, laugh.
Miscellaneous
Page 10 of 75
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