Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 10)

He was so nervous, he could thread a sewing machine while it was running.

Miscellaneous

Uglier than a mud fence

Miscellaneous

Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

Miscellaneous

Sunday face

Miscellaneous

Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

So good it’ll make you smack yo mama.

Miscellaneous

She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.

Miscellaneous

That was back when Christ wore knee-britches.

Miscellaneous

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Miscellaneous

You’re trying to push a rope.

Miscellaneous

We live by the Golden Rule: those who have the gold make the rules.

(1914 –2008) American baseball executive
Miscellaneous

She's so mad she's gonna raise sand.

Miscellaneous

I’m not sure I want to get the nickname “The Love Machine,” because how does that affect my nickname now, which is “The Lawn-Cutting Machine?”

Miscellaneous

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
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It's hotter than a pair of jumper cables at at redneck picnic.

Miscellaneous

Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper

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Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.

Vanderbilt football coach
Miscellaneous

I’ve got an accountant who’s been with me forty years; if he makes a mistake, he dies.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' bumble bees.

Miscellaneous

Happy as a hog in slop.

Miscellaneous