Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 10)

Make Me Late For Work Today

A fine howdy-do

She's so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

One bad thing about Lassie, she was always warning you about something; let me be surprised for a change.

Between you me and the gatepost…

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

If you’re ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don’t know how to speak the natives’ language, just say “Poppy-oomy.” I bet it means something.

It was all still and Sunday-like.

Like a turkey in young corn

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon.

If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

She'll be late to her own funeral.

She’s got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.

How do you write ‘zero’ in Roman Numerals?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Peter Marshall: At NASA, what keeps the cool air running around in the spacesuits?

Paul Lynde: Itsy bitsy Eskimoes….

You Done The Wrong Woman Wrong

He is one ass kicking away from being a pretty nice fellow.

I’m not going to make the same mistake once.

(1937 – ) American actor, producer, screenwriter & director

Couldn't hit a barn if you were on the inside.