Subject: Money (Page 31)

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Girls Money

A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.

(1763 – 1848) German-American, first multi-millionaire in the U.S.
Money People Wealth

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Individuals Money People

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

It was all the wolf could do to keep us away from his door.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Money Poverty

We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Money Poverty

Nobody ever lost a dollar by underestimating the taste of the American public.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Characteristics Money People

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

(1908 – 1972) American politician & civil rights leader
Money

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

My doctor is wonderful; once, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.

(1918 – 2007) American entertainer, actor & television host
Doctors Health Money

I like handicapped men ’cause a handicapped man get a check and a good parking space.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Autos Money People

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.

Money Signs

If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money