Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 31)

When you want to unlock a door but only have one hand free, the keys will be in the opposite pocket.

Von Fumbles Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Doors Keys

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Schumpeter's Observation of Scientific and Nonscientific Theories

Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Assumptions Theories

All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of the Average American

Murphy’s Laws Mail Postcards

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

Muir's Law

Murphy’s Laws Universe

If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing.

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis

Murphy’s Laws Bureaucracy

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Diner's Dilemma

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Soup Ties

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Murphy’s Laws Situations Grease

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Old Children's Law

Children Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Taste

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Bess’s Universal Principles

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things Telephone

Any significant military action will occur at the junction of two or more map sheets.

Slim’s Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Field Marshal Viscount Slim Maps

All life is 6 to 5 against.

Runyon's First Law

Life Murphy’s Laws Betting Odds

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Baker's Law

Murphy’s Laws Misery

When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Chisholm's Second Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Main's Law

Government Murphy’s Laws Action Opposite program

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Thom's Law of Marital Bliss

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time Weddings

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 31)

A body at rest tends to watch television.

There's no special reason; it's just government policy.

Every silver lining has a cloud.

The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.

When you want to unlock a door but only have one hand free, the keys will be in the opposite pocket.

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Any significant military action will occur at the junction of two or more map sheets.

All life is 6 to 5 against.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

When things are going well, something will go wrong.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.