Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 39)

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1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

On successive charts of the same organization the number of boxes will never decrease.

Murphy’s Laws

If you have only one nail, it will bend.

Murphy’s Laws

Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

Murphy’s Laws

If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.

Murphy’s Laws People

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Don't worry… nobody gives a hoot anyway.

Murphy’s Laws People

Some mistakes are too fun to make only once.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

Murphy’s Laws

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

It isn't that things will necessarily go wrong (Murphy's Law), but rather that they will take so much more time and effort than you think if they are not to go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

There are 32 points to the compass, meaning that there are 32 directions in which a spoon can squirt grapefruit; yet, the juice almost invariably flies straight into the human eye.

Murphy’s Laws

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Murphy’s Laws World

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

Murphy’s Laws People

Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Murphy’s Laws Work

If you leave the room, you're elected.

Murphy’s Laws

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws