Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 46)

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Bad habits will cancel out good ones. Example: The orange juice and granola you had for breakfast will be canceled out by the cigarette you smoked on the way to work and the candy bar you just bought.

Murphy’s Laws

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency.

Murphy’s Laws

1. The last gas station for 50 miles will be closed when you get there. 2. At the moment of any departure, the level of gas in your tank depends entirely on how late you are. 3. You only run out of gas after your wife tells you to stop for gas before you run out.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Copying machines mangle only important documents.
Corollary: If a machine goes wild and runs off 180 copies, it will do so only when you are copying a personal letter.

Murphy’s Laws

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.

Emotions Happiness Murphy’s Laws

Truck deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you are waiting for the truck.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The amateur is the one with all the answers.

Murphy’s Laws

Only errors exist.
Berman's Corollary to Robert's Axiom: One man's error is another man's data.

Murphy’s Laws

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

Murphy’s Laws Things

If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing.

Murphy’s Laws

All life is 6 to 5 against.

Life Murphy’s Laws

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


Memory Murphy’s Laws People Problems Situations

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Dating Men Murphy’s Laws Relationships Women

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.

Murphy’s Laws

No matter how long it takes for you to get back to pick up the shoes the shoemaker will tell you that they won't be ready until tomorrow.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

Murphy’s Laws

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Situations Sleep