Subject: People (Page 61)

It is well-known what a middleman is; he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics People

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

Humankind cannot stand very much reality.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Intelligence People

Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company of women become stupid.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Men People Women

Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

I often confuse Americans and Canadians… by using long words.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
America Canada People Places

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Things

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication People

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
People

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.

(1808 – 1889) French novelist & short story writer
People Women

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

It’s a great shock at the age of five or six to find that in a world of Gary Coopers you are the Indian.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Appearance People

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.


People

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Marriage People Wives

You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Family People Rednecks Speech

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People