Subject: People » Self (Page 11)

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape… I choose round.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Body Self

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Self Sports

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Self

I just moved into a new house – so I had to go door to door to notify my neighbors that I am a registered sex offender… I’m not really, but it keeps those f**king kids out of my yard!

comedian
People Self

I hate to see a young man get ahead on the basis of a famous family name.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
People Self Success

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Government People Politicians Self

Things are gradually falling into place on top of me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems Self

We have become, Nina, the sort of people our parents warned us against.

(1785 – 1859) Boston boot maker & probation reformer
People Self

I am a deeply superficial person.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Characteristics People Self

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Mistakes People Self Speech

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Self Television

Facetime fulfills a secret human desire: to mostly look at yourself while talking to other people.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Computers People Self Things

Do not punish yourself, you deprive the world of its purpose.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Life Self

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Self Success

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Intelligence People Self

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Self

Whatever is not nailed down is mine; what I can pry loose is not nailed down.

(1821 – 1900) American railroad magnate
People Self Things