Subject: Places » America (Page 5)

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Places

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

My God, we've had cloning in the South for years… it's called cousins.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
America Places Relationships Science/Weather

America is like the really bad flatmate of the world: ‘Oh sorry, did I break all your shit? I didn't know it was yours… yeah, I'll replace it sometime… with my stuff.’

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
America Places

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.

America Places Situations

New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian
America Emotions Places World

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.

(1937 – 2012) New Zealand author
America Canada Places

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

In America, you watch Big Brother; in Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Places

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit – and parking as close to the stadium as possible.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Places

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they’ll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Children Family Marriage Parents

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Places

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
America Animals Dogs Places