Subject: Places (Page 15)

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Places Situations

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

A small town is a place where there’s no place to go where you shouldn’t.

(1928 - ) American pianist, writer, composer & music producer
Places

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
England Government Places

When I visit China I like to get Chinese food… ff course, over there they just call it food.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Places

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a shitload of money.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money Places

We used to write essays like: “What I'm going to be if I grow up.”

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Hollywood Marriage Places

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

It was once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
America Beliefs Facts

Stand on two phone books almost anywhere in Iowa and you get a view.

American author
Places

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Entertainment People Places

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Money Murphy’s Laws Places

Dubai is what would happen if you gave a 12-year-old a trillion dollars to redecorate his bedroom.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Places

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

No other country would use their technology to invent a fat substitute that when you put it on potato chips causes involuntary loose stools.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Places

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Entertainment Film Hollywood Places

Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Definitions People Places