Subject: Places (Page 15)

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

The whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and Glocca Morra.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Places

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World

It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio: when you entered there was a big sign and it said, “Welcome to Ferguson… Beware of the Dog.”

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Places

As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit – and parking as close to the stadium as possible.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Places

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Food/Drink New York City Places

It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first thing you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Places

They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be, because there was only like nine of us.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
England Places

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can’t be wrong!”

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

Dubai is what would happen if you gave a 12-year-old a trillion dollars to redecorate his bedroom.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Places

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

England, the heart of a rabbit in the body of a lion.

England Places

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

No matter where you are, there you are.

Murphy’s Laws Places

If Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places

America is one long expectoration.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self