Subject: Places (Page 23)

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places TV/Movie Quotes

Texas has a lot of electrical votes.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Government Malaprops Places Yogi-isms

It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Communication Places Speech

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals; apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

From the prairies, to the oceans, wide with foam.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
America Malaprops Places

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

The people of Crete, unfortunately, make more history than they can consume locally.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Places

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Divorce Hollywood Marriage Places

Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.

Murphy’s Laws Places

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Education Learning

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
New York City Places

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian
New York City Places

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Food/Drink Places

The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, 'The British are coming! The British are coming!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Autos Places Things