Subject: Places (Page 40)

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
New York City Places

Working in Hollywood does give one a certain expertise in the field of prostitution.

(1937 – ) American actress, writer, political activist, & fitness exponent
Places

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.

(1862 – 1935) American athlete & evangelist
Places

… the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire… these generally go for six hundred thousand.

Money Places

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries.

(1921 – 1992) New Zealand prime minister
Places

The suburbs are like the bleacher seats of life.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
America Places

We would need less gun control is we had better birth control.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

As you know President Bush is on a tour of Europe; he says he's hoping to see the whole country.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Places

I come from Calcutta: in the UK you drive on the left of the road, in Calcutta we drive on what is left of the road.

Indian comedian
Activities Driving Places

I am the only Iranian comedian in the world… and that's three more than Germany!

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Places

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports World

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

(1901 – 1963) American comic actor, writer & director
Hollywood Places

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
 then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Places Things

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Places