Subject: Places (Page 42)

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

Every frozen yogurt store feels like you're hanging out inside a Japanese girl's backpack.

American comedian
Places

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

When you get tired of walking around San Francisco, you can always lean against. it.

Places

I'd like to see Paris before I die… Philadelphia will do.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Places TV/Movie Quotes

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America Communication Situations

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements People Places

It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the D.T.'s begin.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health Hollywood Places

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

I like American women; they do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing… like showering.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Activities Places Sex

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
America England Food/Drink Places

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

I don't like Norwegians at all; the sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Places

It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first thing you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Places