Subject: Relationships (Page 11)

What are answering machines for if not to break up with someone who bores you?

American playwright, television writer & author
Relationships Things

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

I didn’t know whether to break up with my girlfriend or take a break, so I planted weed in her purse and called the cops. Now I have 30 days to figure things out.

American comedian
Girlfriends Relationships

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People Relationships

Love matches are formed by people who pay for a month of honey with a life of vinegar.

(Countess of Blessington) (1789 – 1849) Irish novelist
Relationships

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Fights Marriage Relationships Sports Wives

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

Relationships

Never tell a loved one about an infidelity… although one dislikes being deceived, one likes even less to be undeceived.

(1620 – 1705) French author, courtesan & patron of the arts
Relationships

She was hostile: you don’t have an orgasm and say to your lover, ‘Take that!'

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Relationships Sex

My boyfriend and I used to argue over the duvet; I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish… and he liked to sleep with a blonde lady called Leanne.

English comedian & actor
Relationships

A family vacation is when you go away with the people you need to get away from.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Activities Relationships

I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection… she pulled a switchblade on me.

writer, website creator
Dating Sex Situations

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

Courtship: When a fellow gets so wrapped up in a girl that it’s easy to tie the knot.

Definitions Relationships

I’m in a relationship at the moment…sorry girls…it’s going to have to be your place.

Relationships

Personally, I think that if a woman hasn’t met the right man by the time she’s twenty-four, she may be lucky.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Men People Relationships Women

I date this girl for two years – and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Dating Relationships

I just want somebody who gets me. Somebody who’s comfortable in my world, and makes me laugh, and occasionally brings me flowers. And… somebody who likes kittens, and the hard-core bondage scene.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Relationships Time

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Relationships