Subject: Sex (Page 15)

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sex Sports

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Viagra has instructions: ‘Keep away from children’ — what kind of man do you think I am?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Children Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Books Communication Sex

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Sex Time

The average man thinks about sex every… what were we talking about?

(1964 – ) American comedian
Men People Sex

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.


Computers Sex Things

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

When my dad was explaining the facts of life to me, he drew me a big diaphragm.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Misspokements Sex

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Sex

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

After lovemaking do you: A) go to sleep? B) light a cigarette? or C) return to the front of the bus?

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex Situations

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.

(1905 –1998) American author
Children Family Sex

I like trying to get pregnant; I'm not so sure about childbirth.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator
Sex Situations

I'm a lousy piece of ass… and I should know… every man I have been with has told me so.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.

Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

It's common courtesy; he's doing most of the work; you've got to encourage him.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex

One day as I came home early from work… I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sex Sports