Subject: Sex (Page 15)

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Sex

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sex Sports

I could never understand what Sir Godfrey Tearle saw in Jill Bennett, until I saw her at the Caprice eating corn on the cob.

(1913 – 1991) Australian actress
Insults Sex

For guys, sex is like going to a restaurant, and no matter what you order off that menu, you walk out of there going, ‘Damn, that was good!'

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Men People Sex

Sex: The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Sex

Men don’t like to cuddle. We only like it if it leads to… you know… lower cuddling.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

We all know that every man's fantasy is to have a threesome… yeah, great… instead of one woman I can't satisfy, now I have two.

comedian
Sex

The Beginners Guide to Sex In the Afterlife

Book Titles Sex

When my old man wanted sex… my mother would show him a picture of me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Mothers Sex

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

(1900 – 1977) American novelist, essayist & autobiographer
Men People Sex Women

I almost got a girl pregnant in high school; it's costing me a fortune to keep the rabbit on a life-support system.

(12/06/1953 – ) American actor, comedian, director & game show host
Sex Situations

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Alcohol Beer Communication Men Sex Speech

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer
Emotions Sex Wordplay

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Intelligence Sex

I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex Situations Sleep

It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Sex

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat People Sex

I went to a hooker…  I dropped my pants… she dropped her price.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Situations

Diseases Caused by Masturbation

Book Titles Sex

Hooker: A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

My vagina is like Newark [New Jersey]; men know it’s there, but they don’t want to visit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Self Sex