Subject: Sex (Page 15)

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

I got a German porno movie… which has subtitles, which is great 'cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Film Sex

I was filling out a questionnaire that said, “Who would you most like to sleep with – anyone living or dead?” I said “Anyone living.”

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Situations Wordplay

A lot of people are very critical of modern reproductive processes without understanding all the ins and outs.

(1940 – ) English professor, medical doctor, scientist & politician
Sex Wordplay

Sam: [angry] You want to know the truth? It wasn’t four honeys. It was four hundred women… easy.

Diane: [coolly] They’d have to be.

(1949 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Anal sex is a lot like spinach: if you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t enjoy it as an adult.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Marriage Sex

I grew up… in a house filled with love… my cousin lived there and she put out.

(1950 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, singer & producer
Relationships Sex

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Money Sex

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
People Sex

Money… was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Sex

I just kissed you, rubbed your chest, kissed you again in an impure manner – you never took your eyes off the TV! Ten years ago all I had to do was be awake… sometimes not even that!

(1958 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I know I’m not sexy; in high school I was voted “Most Likely to Masturbate.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

I'm a lousy piece of ass… and I should know… every man I have been with has told me so.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Health Sex

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment; when a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

I’ve got a boyfriend at the moment; sometimes he’s there and sometimes he’s not; I prefer it when he’s not… sex is a lot quicker.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Relationships Sex