Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 6)

I’m not an athlete; I’m a professional baseball player.

professional baseball player

Cleveland’s Colon Has Emerged Smelling Like a Rose

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player

It's like Christmas, except it's warmer.

American baseball player

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager

I’m going to Radio Shack to buy one of those headsets like the broadcasters use… it seems as soon as you put them on, you get 100 times smarter.

American baseball manager

Not intentionally, but I sweat easily.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Some quiet guys are inwardly outgoing.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Play him, fine him, and play him again.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader and that puts another keg in the Cubs’ coffin.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Do you know what I love most about baseball? … the pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt… and that’s just in the hot dogs.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Reggie Jackson wouldn’t get into the batter’s box until he knew we were back from commercial; of course, [Bob] Uecker wanted to hit during the commercial.

sports announcer

Don’t park in the spaces marked, “Reserved for Umpires.”

professional baseball pitcher

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Yes, and so is everyone else in the league.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.

Baseball team manager