Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 5)

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

The rest of the field.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

Fairway: A narrow strip of closely mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports

Why ask me? You've asked me two times already and paid no atention to what I said. So pick your own goddam club!

Golf Sports

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Golf Sports

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

The older I get, the better I used to be.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Age Golf Old Sports

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer
Golf Science/Weather Sports

They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft; today it’s called golf.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Golf Sports

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Golf Sports

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Activities Golf Sports

The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.

Golf Sports