Subject: Sports (Page 111)

They let you chase girls, they just don’t let you catch them.

Brigham Young University football player
Football Sports

(We) should be allowed to wear shorts; God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

Now that Im retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.

American football player
Football Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes; now how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

If everything were going good for him, he'd be having success.

American hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

‘Deuce’ is used so you don't have to count so high.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

It'll take three good ones to be on in two today, Sir.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.

professional football player
Football Misspokements Sports

He has a strike zone the size of Hitler’s heart.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

 I don't think we've been beaten by officials more than five times this season.

college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

American writer
Golf Sports

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.

American baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

American football player
Football Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

I was never nervous when I had the ball, but when I let go I was scared to death.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Sleep came as it must come to all British heavyweights, midway in the fifth round.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

Jimmy Hill: Don’t sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?

Venables: I think it’s fifty-fifty.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports