Subject: Sports (Page 119)

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things—flying and heart transplants; everything else, you can go four in five.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Sports

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

You don't hit with your face.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Baseball Yogi-isms

I don't know what kind of test they can give him; he's delirious half the time anyway.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

It was cool, man, but I’m a little depressed they didn’t have a buffet.

300+ pound American football player
Food/Drink Football Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

He had the ability of taking a bad situation and making it immediately worse.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

By the way Frank Bruno went on about beating Bugner, you'd have thought he had won the Booker prize, not just taken time to out-jab an old man bullocking around pretty harmlessly in the pension queue.

(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing Sports

It was fun until a kid came up to me and said, “My dad says you're getting old, you're going to die, and your autograph will be valuable.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The team has come along slow but fast.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Baseball Sports

Life is just a place where we spend time between games.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

It is a catch he would have held 99 times out of one thousand.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Situations Sports

The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports