Subject: Sports (Page 119)

A football team is like a piano; you need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.


Sports

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner
Boxing Misspokements Sports

I try to play golf at least once a day.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Golf Sports

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy… so is my wife.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

He now floats like an anchor, stings like a moth.

Boxing Sports

They told me Jack Bodell was awkward and he was… he fell awkwardly.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question… wait a minute, I do have a dollar for every time I've been asked that question.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Situations Sports

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years… or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Basketball Sports

I'm in favor of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

He's skating like he's 36 again.

Canadian hockey player
Age Hockey Sports

The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.

American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

60 per cent of all the Aussies think Joe Bugner is something you find up the Queensland Premier's nose.

Sports

I figured I'd find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself, "Where did he go?" I knew he was there because he kept hitting me.

British boxing champion
Boxing Sports

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating. 

Hockey Sports

Most ball games are lost, not won.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports