Subject: Sports (Page 15)

Let's go out there and win one for the quipper.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
Activities Golf People Sports

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Well, we have been trying to get Elvis… he's been dead long enough.

brother of boxer champion George
Boxing Sports

Finishing second means you are the first driver to lose.

(1950 – 1982) Canadian racing driver
Auto racing Sports

When Mike Tyson gets mad, you don't need a referee, you need a priest.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

(1946 – ) English broadcaster
Football Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

In his prime, Joe Bugner had the physique of a Greek statue, but he had fewer moves.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

The only really unplayable lie I can think of is when you're supposed to be playing golf and come home with lipstick on your collar.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

So I'm ugly; I never saw anyone hit with his face.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Basketball Sports Yogi-isms

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasn't changed.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports Things

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Friends People Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

And Referee Richie Powers called the loose bowel foul on Johnson.

American sportscaster
Sports

Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

Basketball players get the girls, hockey players take them home.

Hockey Sports