Subject: Sports (Page 3)

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Sports

Statistics and records are baseball talk; they keep records like most times sliding into second base on a Tuesday.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Baseball Football Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

To Dallas Cowboys President Tex Schramm: You're one of the two most efficient organizations in the 20th century.

Schramm: What's the other?

Cook: The Third Reich.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

I looked up in the stands and I thought I saw my wife and kids booing.

American basketball Coach
Basketball Sports

(We) should be allowed to wear shorts; God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

For the Washington Senators, the worst time of the year is the baseball season.

(1927 – ) American author & baseball writer
Baseball Sports

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion; you must first set yourself on fire.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports Success

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

A road runner taking you through every ditch, every irrigation canal, barbed wire fence and cattle guard.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

He hits from both sides of the plate; he’s amphibious.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

The most overrated underrated player in baseball.

American writer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I've thought about buying those new, long distance balls, but I wonder, what's the point of hitting golf balls even further out of bounds?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball Sports

This fight will be the nastiest thing you'll ever see; I've been sober for six weeks, and that makes me vicious.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.

Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.

English sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Occupations Sports Work

The rule was "No autopsy, no foul.”

Canadian basketball player
Basketball Sports