Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Any minute now we will have the East German pole vault over the satellite.

Harry Carpenter

British sports commentator

Sports

All those football coaches who hold dressing-room prayers before a game should be forced to attend church once a week.

‘Duffy’ Daugherty

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach

Beliefs Sports Church Coaches Prayer

If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.

Art Rust

American sportscaster

Basketball Sports Cocaine Drugs NBA

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Height On manager Earl Weaver

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Subject: Sports (Page 3)

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

If you’re not going to score goals, at least make people hate you.

After a heavy reverse – It was an 'AW game. We were AWful and they were AWesome.

Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.

Why waltz 10 rounds with an opponent if you can KO him in one?

There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than everybody else: build a fire, run a motel and manage a baseball team.

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and the other foot in a bucket of ice; according to the percentage people, you should be about perfectly comfortable.

It' a once-in-a-lifetime thing that only happens every so often.

I looked up in the stands and I thought I saw my wife and kids booing.

There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

Since then we've changed the locks.

Urban should know. Almost 30 of his players have been arrested over the years, so he apparently knows a bad guy when he sees one.

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

Always remember: golf clubs don’t float.

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.

It was better than a couple of years I had.

Any minute now we will have the East German pole vault over the satellite.

All those football coaches who hold dressing-room prayers before a game should be forced to attend church once a week.

If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.