Subject: Sports (Page 56)

George Chuvalo's best punch is a left cheek to the right glove.

American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Baseball Beliefs Sports

Sean Avery is liked about as much as a rattlesnake at a picnic.

Hockey Sports

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey
Appearance Eating Sports

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports Success

Put an ordinary driver in an Indy-type race car and he'd probably crash before he got out of the pit area.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

As an intellectual, he bestowed upon the games of golf and bridge all the enthusiasm and perseverance that he withheld from his books and ideas.

(1920 – 1982) foreign bureau chief, editor & speechwriter
Characteristics Golf Insults Intelligence

It will be like lying in a bath with your feet on the taps, but not as comfortable.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I can't tell who's leading… it's either Oxford or Cambridge.

British news commentator
Misspokements Sports

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

He looks up at him through blood smeared lips.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

There is no secret to running – run hard, have a beer, have a pizza. We make it too complicated.

New Zealand runner
Sports

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Boxing Sports

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

Sports

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking Yogi-isms

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cold Football Intelligence Places Sports