Subject: Sports (Page 98)

Shooting is just like toenails. They may fall off occasionally, but you know they'll always come back.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Situations Sports

When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He told me just to keep the ball low.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

…. Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one. 

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Sandy’s fastball was so fast, some batters would start to swing as he was on his way to the mound.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals and three-run homers.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.

American professional tennis player
Sex Sports

The way to stop Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is to get real close to him and breathe on his goggles.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

We’ve lost our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It’s a good job we didn’t play the whole of Samoa!

Welsh rugby player
Misspokements Sports

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

professional golfer
Misspokements Sports

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

Hockey Sports

Now that Im retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.

American football player
Football Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

A sense of humor and a good bullpen.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

He's hit more balls than Elton John's chin.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

He can make the ball look so small that you're not even sure why there's a practical reason for being up there.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports