Subject: Things » Computers (Page 2)

Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

Facetime fulfills a secret human desire: to mostly look at yourself while talking to other people.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress

Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let’s take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

There is always one more bug.

User: The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.

(1931 – ) television newscaster

I have one friend whose Facebook updates are exclusively complaining about Facebook.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian

User: Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Bill Gates is a very rich man today… and do you want to know why?… the answer is one word: versions.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley LSD and UNIX; we don't believe this to be a coincidence.

American computer systems administrator

Any program will expand to fill available memory.

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

comedian, commentator, radio host, reporter & writer

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

journalist, media executive & entrepreneur