Subject: Things (Page 23)

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Any program will expand to fill available memory.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Clothing Situations Sleep Things

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Life

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor; would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Things

What are imitation rhinestones?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things

I recently purchased a yo-yo at a flea market for just 15 cents – no strings attached!

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Things

If the Internet is any guide, a lot of people who are pro-gun are also anti-spelling.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Things

Inanimate objects are scientifically classified into three major categories – those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Murphy’s Laws Things

You might be a redneck if… your home has more miles on it than your car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

If you can’t navigate a one-level, five-item phone tree, you didn’t need a computer anyway.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Driving Fools Intelligence Things

Nature abhors a vacuum… and so do I.

American cartoonist & greeting card illustrator
Housework Situations Things Work

A condominium is just an apartment with a down payment.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Things TV/Movie Quotes

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Things

In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its storage.

Murphy’s Laws Things