Author: Anonymous Page 149

He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.

Mixed metaphors

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Definitions Places Sex

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Girls People Wordplay

Off the cuff of my head.

Mixed metaphors

I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.

Characteristics

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

Activities Definitions

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

“I got in through the window after opening it with a crowbar,” said Tom enterprisingly.

Tom Swifties

Groan: An expression of appreciation for the horrible.

Communication Definitions Speech

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places