Author: Anonymous Page 158

“This flower’s empty,” the drone said belatedly.

Tom Swifties

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties

You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.

Mixed metaphors

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

They tried to make me the escape goat.

Malaprops

Microsoft™ is thoroughly dropping the ball on that front.

Mixed metaphors

Taking the bull with both feet

Mixed metaphors

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Definitions

People who wear glass slippers shouldn't kick stones.

Mixed metaphors

Budget: A family quarrel.

Definitions

The greatest thing since sliced beer.

Mixed metaphors

You can take that to the bank and smoke it.

Mixed metaphors

I don’t dance, but I’d love to hold you while you do.

Dance Entertainment

“I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions