Author: Anonymous Page 156

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

“I’m putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses,” Tom summarized.

Tom Swifties

Kinky is using a feather; perverted is using the whole chicken.

Sex

“I have to keep these eggs warm,” Tom said honestly.

Tom Swifties

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Intelligence Memory Wisdom

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

Regret: Insight that comes a day too late.

Definitions

She couldn’t catch a cold if it had handles.

Expressions

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People

He can cry on a dime.

Mixed metaphors

Aren't you ever tired of having yourself around?

Insults

Whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an advertisement designed to make you spend money.

Communication Language Money

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

We can still hang our heads high.

Mixed metaphors