Author: Anonymous Page 154

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

The bottom line boils down to…

Mixed metaphors

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific.

Misspokements

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

You don't have to beat it with a dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

“Hey, what’s it worth if I help you escape from prison?” asked Tom contemptuously.

Tom Swifties

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

Assumption is the mother of the screw-up.

Mistakes Problems

“I’ve been to a film festival in Southern France,” said Tom cannily.

Tom Swifties

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

Never put all your eggs in one omelet.

Mixed metaphors

“Why do you bother? I for one couldn’t….,” said Tom carelessly.

Tom Swifties

“So this is your new computer!” said Tom calculatingly.

Tom Swifties

Accrue: People who work on a ship.

Definitions

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People