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Confucius say… wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

Confucius say… he who eats ice cream in car, is a sundae driver.

Confucius say… girl's best asset is her ‘lie' ability.

Confucius say… girl who have red hair have red hair, by cracky.

Confucius say… he who eats crackers in bed, get crummy sleep.

Confucius say… woman who is in love with priest will chase him through church and grab him by the organ.

Confucius say… couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.

Confucius say… man who run in front of car get tired.

Confucius say… good life is like toilet paper… long and useful.

Confucius say… he who crosses ocean twice without washing is dirty double crosser.

Confucius say… at a nudist wedding, you don't have to ask – you can see who the best man is.

Confucius say… woman who come to bed wearing nothing but running shoes, wants to have marathon session.

Confucius say… church's bills are always due unto others.

Confucius say… a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows, there will be udder destruction.

Confucius say… Amish woman's secret fantasy is two Mennonite.

Confucius say… prostitute with a degree in psychology will blow your mind.

Confucius say… flying saucer will appear when a nudist spills his coffee.

Confucius say… misfortune is the kind of fortune that never misses.

Confucius say… drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic.

Confucius say… girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Confucius say… butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.