Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 2

You know you’re a redneck if you’ve ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Autos People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

You might be a redneck if… your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you own a homemade fur coat.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions Family Happiness Mothers

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Places Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing Husbands People Rednecks