Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu”, and the headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?”


Situations

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?


Communication Reading/Writing

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell… except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.


Health

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

I had my coathangers spayed.


Things

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.


Activities Things

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


God

I Xeroxed my watch… now I have time to spare.


Things Time

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


New York City Places Things