Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

I Xeroxed my watch and now I can give away free watches.


Things

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


God

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?


Communication Reading/Writing

I Xeroxed my watch… now I have time to spare.


Things Time

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

Ever try to Scotchgard a sponge?


Situations

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations