Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Criticism
(Page 3)
Ed, you're the second best umpire in the league… the other twenty-three are tied for first.
Carl Yastrzemski
American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Criticism
To umpire Ed Runge
If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.
Margaret Thatcher
(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Communication
(also Lyndon Johnson)
Criticism
Swim
A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.
Tyne Daly
(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress
Beliefs
Communication
Occupations
Work
Criticism
Critics
Yeah… I remember
my
first beer.
Steve Martin
(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Alcohol
Beer
Food/Drink
Criticism
Response to a heckler
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals
Communication
Criticism
Skunks
I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well.
Joan Crawford
(1905 – 1977) American actress
Communication
People
Criticism
On Judy Garland
The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Insults
Situations
Criticism
Joan Crawford
If Attila the Hun were alive today, he’d be a drama critic.
Edward Albee
(1928 – ) playwright
Beliefs
Opinion
Attila the Hun
Criticism
Drama critic
Yeah, I tried to see it from your point of view, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.
Chris Rock
(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Communication
Insults
Criticism
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication
Insults
People
Criticism
Critics
Uselessness
One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.
George Orwell
Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication
Insults
Criticism
On politician Stanley Baldwin
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
Walter Winchell
(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication
Situations
Criticism
The quality of debate [in the House of Lords] is pretty high – and it is, I think, good evidence of life after death.
Rev. Donald Soper
(1903 – 1998) English clergyman
Communication
Speech
Criticism
Debate
The House of Lords
Another pot of coffee, waiter, and bring it under your arm to keep it warm.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Food/Drink
Coffee
Criticism
Temperature
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn
(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Communication
Marriage
Admiration
Criticism
Actress Mary Anderson: Mr. Hitchcock, what do you think is my best side?Hitchcock: My dear, you're sitting on it.
Alfred Hitchcock
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Appearance
Insults
Criticism
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Communication
Government
Criticism
Establishment
When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.
Anonymous
Communication
Problems
Criticism
Trouble
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
Peter McArthur
(1924 – ) Canadian writer
Communication
People
Self
Criticism
Satirist
The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Communication
Politicians
Criticism
Reporters
The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it.
Grace Kelly
(1929 – 1982) American actress & princess of Monaco
Communication
Speech
Criticism
Freedom
The press
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