Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
George W. Bush
(Page 2)
U2 lead singer Bono met with President Bush at the White House this week. Bono urged the president to help the world’s poor; Bush urged Bono to get back with Cher.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
George W. Bush
George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.
Rick Perry
(1950 – ) American politician & 47th governor of Texas
Misspokements
George W. Bush
You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money
9/11
Bin Laden
George W. Bush
Yesterday, the President met with a group he calls the coalition-of-the-willing; or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government
Coalition of the willing
George W. Bush
Poor George [Bush], he can't help it; he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
Ann Richards
(1933 – 2006) politician
Insults
People
George W. Bush
It’s been reported that in the event of an emergency situation with North Korea the U.S. is prepared to send 70% of the Marine Corps to the region; according to President Bush this will still allow us to send another 70% to Iran and keep our other 70% in Iraq.
Amy Poehler
(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
TV/Movie Quotes
George W. Bush
This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence
People
Abraham Lincoln
George W. Bush
President Bush’s speech writer is leaving the administration; his last words were, "Me go now."
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication
Speech
George W. Bush
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Elections/Voting
Emotions
Government
George W. Bush
Tickle Me Elmo
Voting
Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence
People
George W. Bush
Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.
Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government
President
Astronomers
George W. Bush
President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003… President Bush signed a $10 million deal to
read
a book by 2003.
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
George W. Bush
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government
Language
Politicians
Arnold Schwarzenegger
George W. Bush
I’m proud of George, he’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse; what’s worse, it was a male horse.
Laura Bush
(1946 – ) U.S. first lady, wife of George W. Bush
Miscellaneous
George W. Bush
To show that his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska. This week President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turned soy beans into a clean burning diesel fuel; which the president hopes one day will be used to fuel oil drilling machines in Alaska.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
George W. Bush
As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.
Mark Russell
(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age
Government
Health
Old
George W. Bush
Medicare
If Bush’s [overall approval ratings] don’t improve, he could become the first president held back and forced to repeat his presidency.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
George W. Bush
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