Keyword: Insurance

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in; filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Health

The damage rarely exceeds the deductible.

Murphy’s Laws

Insurance is like marriage – you pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

The illness you come down with is the one ailment your company-covered insurance does not cover.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health Money

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Communication Money

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies.


Money

Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Men People Sex

I finally have a dental plan… I chew on the other side.

comedy writer & stand-up comedian
Health