Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Keyword: Snakes

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Intelligence Wisdom Experience Snakes

A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Bites Snakes

That cat is wilder than an acre of snakes.

Country expression
Miscellaneous Other expressions Rowdy Snakes Wild

I once went on a date with a girl where we went hiking… and she gets bit by a snake in between her toes, and I had to suck out the poison… so she’s dead.

Anthony Jeselnik
(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Relationships Situations Snakes

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Characteristics Fear Snakes

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Rod Schmidt

Animals Things Mirrors Snakes Tinsel

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Success Snakes













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com