Keyword: Telephone (Page 2)

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.'

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Things

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

When a body is immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Murphy’s Laws

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Emotions Things

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 a.m… it could be the right number.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Time

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Sleep Yogi-isms

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication

I like to leave messages before the beep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Life People Things

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number; it started with 555.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Dating

I tried phone sex and got an ear infection.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health Sex

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers