Subject: Activities (Page 38)

She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.

Activities Exercise Misspokements

Sometimes the road is less traveled for a reason.

Activities Proverbs Travel

There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities

Eleven months’ hard work and one month’s acute disappointment.

British businessman & politician
Activities

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Activities Sleep

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

I went to a massage parlor; it was self service.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

Exercise! … I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Activities Exercise

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.

(1940 – ) American television journalist & author
Activities

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Activities Fools Intelligence

I'm starting to jog, but every time I do jog I have 9-1 pressed into my phone, with the next ‘1’ ready to be launched in case I drop.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Activities Exercise

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali; he was using a dotted line… he caught every other fish.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Art

If an item is advertised as "under $50," you can bet it's not $19.95.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping