Subject: Age » Old

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

If you live to be ninety in England and can still east a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Senescence begins and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

(1933 – 2006) politician

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Women are as old as they feel and men are old when they lose their feelings.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

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