Subject: Age (Page 26)

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Activities Age Old

When you’re in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they’re nice about it… they’re like, ‘Hey man, you look good!' … but when you’re in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, ‘You doin’ all right?'

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Age Old

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Age Old

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education Sex Young

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

[My mother] had something like ‘time out;' it was called ‘knock out.'

American comedian
Age Relationships Young

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Age Definitions

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

If you want to know what you’ll look like in ten years, look in the mirror after you’ve run a marathon.

American cardiologist & marathoner
Activities Age Appearance Old

Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing.

(1949 – ) American federal judge
Age Old

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Children Family Old

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Facts Old Young

Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Age Old Sex

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

When I was a boy, I thought myself a man; now that I am a man, I find myself a boy.

(1773 – 11829) English genius & polymath
Age Old Young

What can you say when your husband says: “You can’t expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older.”

Age Old