Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 3)

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother’s side.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

Born-Again Virgin

Beliefs Book Titles Religion

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior – unless you're Jewish.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

B’nai Briss

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops Religion

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs People Religion Science/Weather

My dad was old school Jewish… not do your taxes Jewish – steal your car Jewish.

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

Let my people go!

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.

(1823 – 1892) French philosopher & historian
Beliefs Religion

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

Satan: The scarecrow in the religious cornfield.

Beliefs Definitions Religion

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion