Subject: Conflict » Fights

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player

My father only hit me once – but he used a Volvo.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

I’m not a fighter; I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The fights you avoid do you far more good than the ones you will win.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I will personally challenge anyone who wants to get rid of fighting to a fight.

American-Canadian hockey executive

[After a fight] Yeah, I’m fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy’s fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

You might be a redneck if… you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion

I’m not a fighter, I’m a bleeder.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

I've had 117 fights and that's the first time I've ever won.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

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