Subject: Government (Page 45)

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions; conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

However harmless a thing is, if the law forbids it most people will think it wrong.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Government Law

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President Self

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics; Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Basketball Government Politics Sports

The legislature's job is to write law; it's the executive branch's job to interpret law.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Congress Government Law President

We have a presidential election coming up, and I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

(1953 – 2018) American comedian, political satirist & author
Elections/Voting Government

Georgie believed in democracy, and he felt that everybody had a right to an opinion… his.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Democracy Government Opinion

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.

professional football player
Government

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Elections/Voting Government Intelligence Reading/Writing

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation; among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics Government Honesty Lies Politicians

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Art Democracy Government Science/Weather

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

The first thing we do, let’s kill the lawyers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Government Killing Law Lawyers

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics