Subject: Places » New York City

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station; and just like New York taxis… they’re all going to be driven by aliens.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

New York is the only place where if you have talent, and you believe in yourself, and you show people what you can do then some day, maybe – just maybe – you could get shoved in front of a moving subway train.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – ) playwright & screenwriter

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else; the same with good manners.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

If Jeffrey Dahmer lived in New York, New Yorkers would have been like, 'Hey, you think that apartment's available?'

comedian, television writer

New York is not Mecca… it just smells like it.

(1927 – ) playwright & screenwriter

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

“New York, New York” – so good they named it twice.

(1947 – ) American singer-songwriter













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