Subject: Places » New York City

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor

It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer

“New York, New York” – so good they named it twice.

(1947 – ) American singer-songwriter

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

A city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Police: Bank Robber Had Shopping Addiction

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian

The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

(1925 – 2005) television host

New York is the only place where if you have talent, and you believe in yourself, and you show people what you can do then some day, maybe – just maybe – you could get shoved in front of a moving subway train.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

New York is not Mecca… it just smells like it.

(1927 – ) playwright & screenwriter

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian