Subject: Activities » Driving (Page 3)

But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right… but I soon figured out that three left turns do.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Driving Situations

The driver behind you wants to go five miles per hour faster.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Things

People will accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Autos Driving Things

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Characteristics Driving Situations

I am the one in my family who does all the driving, because my husband never learnt to drive… in my opinion.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Activities Driving

I can’t drive an automatic.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving Things

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today; they left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Activities Driving Situations

I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Autos Driving Things

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I was in my car driving back from work, when a police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window; I said, ‘One minute I’m on the phone.'

(1976 – ) English comedian
Activities Driving Situations

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops.”

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Alcohol Autos Driving Food/Drink Things

I come from Calcutta: in the UK you drive on the left of the road, in Calcutta we drive on what is left of the road.

Indian comedian
Activities Driving Places