Subject: Activities (Page 37)

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Emotions Exercise Love Sex

It's better to go when you have to go – than to go and find you've already gone.

Children Murphy’s Laws Travel

My daughter… she failed her drivers test; she couldn’t get used to the front seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Children Driving Family Sex

Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Activities Games Life

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Marriage People Rednecks

When I was 15 years old, I got my learner’s permit, which meant that the state of Florida was now obligating me to learn to drive with the two worst drivers in the world: my mom and my dad.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Autos Driving Family Parents Situations

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Housework Work

There never was a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Children Family Situations Sleep

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports

I asked my wife, “last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex Sleep

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Activities Games

The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Activities

Bargain: A transaction in which each party thinks he has cheated the other.

Definitions Shopping

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Man is the only animal that plays poker.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Animals People

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

I ain't in no mood to play 120 questions.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Activities Malaprops

One night I was playing poker with tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Games People

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Age Exercise Young